Are We Lost? (English Version)
by Killerqueen2.0
Summary: The thoughts of Crowley and Aziraphale in each other body during their trials. "What if he were standing here instead of me?" So he would have died, alone, in agony and surrounded by people who hate him.


"Shut your stupid mouth and die already"

Crowley had to use an admirable amount of self-control to avoid pouncing on the archangel and smashing his face with a single punch.

_After all, it's not something that Aziraphale would do, is it?_

Instead, I dedicate a cold and disdainful gaze full of hate towards the archangel, one that only someone like Anthony J Crowley could give, while the other strutted with taste without even noticing the contempt with which he looked at him.

When he set his eyes (well, those of Aziraphale) on the infernal fire that rose in front of him, he could feel a shift in his heart. He knew that he would come out completely intact from there but he cannot help the fatalistic thoughts from bursting into his mind.

_What would have happened if we had not discovered the prophecy? Would that end Aziraphale? Being betrayed by the beings he always believed in? In total agony?_

He had not even had the opportunity of a trial, only a flood of accusations that would end in his execution, without even being able to say anything in his defense. It was something that even hell had not done. During his already extended existence, he was witness to some trials in hell and even there the defendant was allowed to defend himself, something that in heaven they seemed to have forgotten.

_Poor Aziraphale, working under the orders of these inept, something more in what we are similar._

He began to take small steps to go towards the fire trying to look fearful, while inside he was grateful for the first time the fact of not belonging in that immaculate but insensitive and detestable place.

_Fortunately, after this, Zira would not have to stay here. At last, he could be on his own side, without either side bothering him._

When he finally entered hellfire without feeling anything but tickling could not help but rejoice to see how the faces of the present beings were transformed into a grimace of amazement to see that the fire did not affect the angel.

The last thing he saw before disappearing from there was the faces, mainly the one of the archangel Gabriel transfigured in a gesture of horror, while they retreated abruptly, with fear of the witnessed.

[...]

Aziraphale removed Crowley's clothes with some slowness, without taking his eyes off the bathtub where the holy water rested with which they planned to "annihilate him"

Even though he knew that all this was innocuous for him, he could not help feeling somewhat uneasy about the fact of the trial.

Honestly, he was surprised that in a place like hell judgments were also made, something that reassured him, if in a place like hell there were judgments, of course, there would also be one in heaven, so Crowley would have more opportunity to defend himself.

Even so, he felt a twitch in his stomach while several thoughts passed through his head.

_My God, what if we had not discovered the prophecy? What if he was standing here instead of me? So he would have died, alone, in agony and surrounded by people who hate him_

Of course, he was aware of the expectant looks of several demons who seemed to enjoy the show, it was as if they had been waiting for this for a long time.

_My God, Was Crowley so hated in hell? Why would they do it? I know that Crowley can be a bit annoying, but not so much to deserve hatred, do you?_

"Demon Crowley," he heard the voice of a demon he recognized as Beelzebub. He had spent all night reviewing various details about hell and demons, as well as Crowley himself, to make his performance more credible.

_After all, everything is at stake here, if they discover us, not only will I fall, but Crowley too._

Without saying a word, he went to the bathtub, trying to be calm, in the same way, that the redhead would act if he were in his place.

He immersed himself in the bathtub and without feeling any kind of pain began to relax in even playing with the water shamelessly, similar to how Crowley would do, scare others who were horrified to see that he did not suffer as was supposed.

After several minutes of seeing that the demon did not suffer the effect of holy water, they let him go. The farther he went, the lighter the oppression felt in his chest, knowing that for now there was nothing to fear.

[...]

_**Months later...**_

Aziraphale was arranging some books in his bookstore while Crowley, who in the last months had spent more time there than in his apartment, was lying down in an armchair.

"Oh, by the way, how was my trial?" mentioned the angel that day, after the trials had spoken little of it and it was something that had made a dent in his curiosity in the last days.

The demon tensed completely in his seat had avoided talking about the subject all that time to avoid the pain that was going to suffer the angel to know the treatment his own people had given him

"Crowley..." the angel repeated, trying to get the demon´s attention.

Crowley knew that Aziraphale was going to insist if he was not answered so he prepared for what he was about to say.

"Angel ... You did not have a trial" the devil said in a tone that reminded Aziraphale the moment he told him that the bookstore had caught fire.

"Oh ..." the angel did not know how to react at that moment, he felt how little faith he had left in the heaven was falling apart inside him.

Crowley stared at him, not even knowing how to react. He knew what it was to totally lose faith in something or someone, but he never expected that someone like Aziraphale would have to go through that.

All he did was approach the angel cautiously and hold him in his arms, giving him total freedom to express everything he felt at that moment. Aziraphale only shed some tears, a combination of disappointment, anger, and sadness, meanwhile Crowley was devoted to comfort him in his arms.

At that time, they were neither an angel nor a demon, but two beings full of disappointment and with little faith.


End file.
